Happiness......Help!!!

So I know for sure now, that money does not buy happiness. I thought that getting a lot of money would make our lives better and easier, but no matter what, being married is so hard. I have to adjust myself so much, and having a kid just adds to the chaos. I also realized that I don't like spending money as much as I used to! At least not on myself, I like buying stuff for Zac and going out with my hubby, but I feel bad spoiling myself now. Teague and I just had a really rough night, and a pretty scary fight, things are fine now, but I know that the smallest thing can make or break a relationship, and now I am kind of afraid and feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Not because he scares me or anything, but just because I want to make all of us happy so bad and don't know how when I feel like I don't know what my point here is. I feel like I am the babysitter and that I don't add anything else to the home but that. I need some fun things to do for myself, and for Zac, so that when Teague comes home I'm not so on edge and expecting him to take over or entertain me. Ugh, I don't know what to do with myself right now, I hope that the Spring give me more energy and more ideas! If anyone has any insight into my dilemma, please help!!